i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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