Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
