The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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