I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
