So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize