probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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