Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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