I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I need moral support for this bender
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
