Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
