Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
