The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize