All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
