I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This is my gift to your gina
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
