I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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