Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
