I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
