Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
