I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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