She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
