I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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