This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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