I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
