does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
