Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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