OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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