so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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