Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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