honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize