She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
