nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
