I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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