She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
