i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize