uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
