I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
