i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
