Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
