My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
