i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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