i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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