the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
