I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
