Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
