Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize