I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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