I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
