He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
