i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
