The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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