I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
