Come see our sink grown plant.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
