how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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