I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize