apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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