Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
