I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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