Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
