Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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