You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize