It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
she pinky promised me she was 18
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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