I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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