ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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